The Journal of Alters
by ModernEgnigma
Summary: Jeff has Dissociative identity disorder (aka DID) and to try and cure his disorder and educate others on it, he journals about them and what happens when they come out. Disclaimer: Don't own a thing. (( Kind of a United States of Tara thing )) Jeff Hardy/OFC and for my category, I know I probably did it wrong, but Ive never been good at it, plz be nice.
1. Introducing the Alters

**Prologue: Meeting Jeff's Alters**

Have you ever seen, heard or know anything about a disorder called Dissociative Identity Disorder, also known as "DID". Well, if you haven't. DID is a psychiatric diagnosis that describes a condition in which a person displays multiple distinct identities or personalities known as alter egos or alters. It's a tough disorder to have and a disorder I know a lot about.

Let me introduce myself, my name is Jeffrey Nero Hardy. I am 33 years old and am a worldwide known wrestler, currently signed to TNA. I live in Cameron, North Carolina with my wife, pro sports athlete Luna Kallenberg. I also so have Dissociative Identity Disorder. I have four alters off of my real self. So let me tell you about them, There is:

**Hardy:** An Ex military special ops member that is a loud, rowdy and all around tough ass. That drinks way too much for anyone in the tri-state area combined and who works construction.

**Ruby:** A 1920's old fashion house wife.

**Nero****:** An out of control, rule breaking and over horny teenager that loves pot and grabbing asses.

**Giveme:** A Shoe-goblin, that steals and/or eats every shoe it comes into contact with. Giveme also has a bad habit of biting and peeing on people.

I am not aware of any of my alters. My transitions are quick, unexpected and sometimes hard to deal with. Anything and everything can trigger them. A panic or anxiety attack, fear, an overwhelming situation, stress or a traumatic incident.

I am writing this journal to try and help others understand "DID" and to try and help myself with trying to cure myself of them, so that my family and friends don't have deal with them anymore. None of my fans are aware of this disorder, but if you are reading this journal entry you are now.


	2. Nero

**Chapter One: Nero**

My POV:

The date is July 13, 2010 and it is around 2:30 in the morning. This is my journal entry on my alternate, Nero.

It was around 10pm yesterday, the 12th, when I transitioned into Nero. What set me off into my transition to Nero was a fight with Luna about me possible wanting to start drinking again.

Nero's POV:

When I entered Jeff's body Luna was yelling at me for drinking, which I didn't fucking do. "I wasn't drinking, you ass bag. Fuck, get off my case!" I yelled back at her. "You're just still mad that I took all your Xanx the last time I was snooping around your room."

Luna stopped yelling, "Nero, is that you?" She asked, a look of confusion on her face that made me laugh at her stupid ass.

"Yeah, It's me, you fucker." I barked back, flipping her off.

"So, wait you were the one that took my Xanx, and not Pollo?" She asked me, anger was reboiling in her eyes. I could tell by the way her right eye was twitching a bit.

"Yep, that was me." I said sitting down on the couch and kicking up my legs on the coffee table.

"Get your feet off the coffee table, Nero!" Luna snapped shoving my feet off the table with her foot.

I stood up and got in her face. "Don't fucking touch me." I threatened.

"Or what?" She threatened back.

"I'll call the cops on you for child abuse." She laughed this time.

"You're 17, Nero. You can't threaten child abuse and if you do I'll tell the cops all about your arson and drug dealing."

Her head rocked back and forth as she threatened me, she looked so hot when she was mad. As she continued to threaten me with telling the cops everything I've ever done in my 17 years of life, I reached around and grabbed her ass firmly.

She jerked away from me, "Don't touch my ass, Nero." She hissed.

I licked my lips and rubbed my hand on my hardening cock, "You know you like it, Luna." I taunted her, stepping closer. "Jeff isn't around. He won't care if we have one little tiny winy fuck session." I had her countered against the TV.

"Jeff and I have a deal, no fucking the alters and you know this, Nero. You agreed to it." Luna said. She was clearly turned on by me. I licked the side of her neck and kissed her ear. I felt her shiver against me.

"You want me, Luna." I whispered in her ear.

"You wanna fuck me." I sang grabbing her ass and pulling her closer to me. "Admit it, Luna."

For a moment there, it seemed like I was going to get into her pants. But instead she pushed me away and ran out the balcony door.

"What was that all about?" Jenna asked walking in the front door.

I pulled a pouty sad face, "Luna won't fuck me, Jenna."

I sulked going over to her and wrapping my arms around her neck, pretending to cry. Jenna froze for a moment before she realized who I was, me squeezing her ass helped a lot.

"Oh, Nero. It's okay. She's just not good enough to fuck you." She told me.

"She's not?" I fake sniffed.

"No," She started to rub my back soothingly. "But I am." She whispered in my ear.

I pulled my head from her shoulder, wiping nonexistent tears from my eyes, "You are, Jen?" Jenna nodded, smiling. "Then, can we fuck?" I asked her, my lip puffing out a bit more. She rubbed her thumb across my pouty bottom lip.

"Of course we can."

**Three hours Later**

I quietly snuck out of Jenna's bedroom, silently giggling to myself at the victory of fucking Jenna for two hours straight before she passed out. Walking down stairs back into the living room intent on watching SpongeBob, I found Luna passed out on the couch, looking down at her as she slept, everything inside of me froze solid.

My POV:

I blinked a few times before realizing how much my ass hurt and that I was staring at Luna, who was sound asleep on the couch. A pair of arms wrapped around my waist and the side of someone's face snuggled in between my shoulder blades.

"Get off me!" I barked pulling away and turning to Jenna.

"You weren't saying that an hour ago, Nero." Jenna said putting her hands on her naked hips.

"Wait, did you and Nero fuck?" I asked a bit horrified.

"Jeff, is that you?" Jenna asked confusion all over her face.

"Yeah, Jenna! It is." I answered.

"Oh fuck, sorry. I thought you were still Nero." She told me.

"So, you and Nero did fuck." I said feeling dirty.

I mean don't get me wrong I love Jenna to death as a **friend**. But the thought of fucking her without any possible protection with all the dirty STD positive men she's slept with, makes me want to shower for a week and get check 1,000 times over again.

"Yeah, we did and he was great." Jenna smiled.

By this time, Luna had woken up. "What's going on?" She asked, getting up off the couch. "Jeff is that you, _you_?"

"Yeah, Nana, it is." I replied hugging her.

"Okay, so what's going on?" She asked hugging me back.

"Nero and I fucked." Jenna blurted out.

"Jenna!" I yelled.

"What?!" Luna yelled pushing me away. "Nero fucked Jenna?" she demanded.

"Yes." Jenna said, all too proud.

"Luna, I didn't know. You know I don't have control over him." I pleaded with Luna as she grabbed her coat and car keys.

"Don't talk to me, Jeff. I'll be back later. I'm going to Eddie's'." Luna yelled, slamming the front door and knocking our wedding photo off the wall.

I dropped to the floor, my face in my hands as I cried.

"It'll be okay, Jeffy. She'll forget about it in the morning." Jeff said putting a hand on my shoulder.

I slapped her hand away. "This is your fault. If you had just kept your mouth shut!" I screamed getting up, running into Luna and I's master bedroom, slamming that door.

So, now an hour later and I'm laying here in bed up against the head board with my laptop in my lap, alone and writing this entry about Nero and the destruction he can do.

That's it for now, Good Night and until my next transition I love you all,

Jeff

P.S ~ Nana, if you read this,...if you ever read this. I'm sorry about Nero and I love you, dearly.


	3. Hardy

**Chapter Two: Hardy**

My POV

The date is July 16, 2010 and it is around 4:30 in the afternoon. This is my journal entry on my alternate, Hardy.

Hardy came out around 6:38am on the 14th. What set him off was Luna never returning from the bar after our fight over Nero and Jenna.

Hardy's POV:

I pulled on my worn baggy blue jeans and dirty black T-shirt along with my combat boots that were still stained with the blood of the crazy fucking gophers in the backyard I've been killing lately. Pulling on my hat, I grabbed the keys to the car and headed out, searching for a drink, well a few drinks anyway.

Pulling into a parking space behind a building throbbing with music, I walked down an alleyway to the front door and walked in. Stopping a few feet within the door, I scratched my balls and continued on to the bar. I walked by several good looking gals, winking at them as I go by. I find a seat at the bar and take it, give my order to the bartender, then turned to survey the room.

"Hey, Hardy." A voice came.

Turning to the left, I spot Jeff's little bitch standing next to me clenching her beer, "Sup kid?" I reply surveying the room again, the kid sits next to me.

"What are you doing here?" She asked me, "Thought you went to go get back into the military."

The bartender tapped me on the shoulder, then handed me my drink. "Yeah, I did. But they won't let me back in. Say I'm too old." I tell her taken a big gulp of the beer. "Assholes." I mutter under my breath. The kid snorts next to me, "What's so fucking funny?" I snapped at her.

"Nothing." She said straightening up.

_Bitch_.

"Heard you and the big man got in a fight." I said finishing my beer and calling the bartender for another.

"Yeah, we did." The kid sighed, "Nero and Jenna fucked last night." She told me.

This time I snored, but part of me felt bad. "Yeah, well kid, you know that Jeff ain't got any control over what Nero does. It ain't his fault that Nero's a horny punk that takes it where he can get it."

She nodded finishing her beer. "I know. But it's hard sometimes when he transitions into all his alters. You, I like. You're a great drinking partner and someone to do crazy shit with." I cut her off laughing.

"Like the falls in Texas, pushing Matt over them in the barrel. Funny shit."

She laughed too, but continued, "Nero is always doing shit that pisses me off…"

"Teenagers." I growl.

"Ruby is great for household stuff, but she's more bitch than anything. Giveme is like having a renegade 5 year, that's half dog, chewing up everyone's shoes." She paused for a moment spinning her beer bottle in her hand, if I wasn't so damn blind I'd swear I saw a couple of tears, "But at the end of the day, when we go to bed, I just want my Jeff in my arms. Not you or Giveme or Nero, or Ruby. Just Jeff."

My heart went out to the kid, I wish there was a time that I could hold my only. But she had died years ago. A tear trickled down my cheek…

My POV

I wiped the tear from my eyes, pushed the bottle of water away from me and turned to Luna. "Luna, I'm sorry about Nero." I told her. "I know it's hard dealing with me and all the alters on a daily basis. I wish I could do something to be normal, to be just myself for you all the time." More quiet tears fell from my eyes.

"It's okay, Jeff." Luna said finishing her beer. "After 8 years of marriage to you, I've learned that its all you. You and all the alters, they are who you are and I wouldn't change it. Even if all of them came out at once on their worse, I'd still love you and only you." A smiled formed on both of our lips.

"I love you, Luna." I whispered hugging her.

"I love you too, Jeff." She told me, hugging me back.

~*~

That incident was days ago. Luna and I are great again and I haven't transitioned since Hardy, so I'm guessing that's a good thing. (Crosses fingers) But, I am worried about it. Things might be building on me and who knows how it will let out.

The Charismatic Enigma,

Jeff


	4. Giveme

**Chapter Three: Giveme**

Ok, so the date is July 28, 2010 and it is 6 in the evening. This is Luna's journal entry on Giveme for Jeff.

I'm not sure when he can out or what made him come out. All I know is he was there when I woke up.

My POV

I woke up way too early in the morning to the sound of ripping and chewing. My first thought was one of the dogs getting into the trash and ripping the bag open. Not caring I rolled over and went to snuggle back up with Jeff. But instead I snuggled up with thin air. It was then everything came together, shooting out of bed I looked to the foot of the bed. "GIVEME!" I screamed seeing him chewing on my brand new favorite Adios shoes. Giveme flinched pulling the Adios from his mouth and pressing it to his chest protectively.

"Giveme, gimme the shoes." I said calmly holding my hand out as I inched forward towards him. He turned his body away still holding the shoe to his chest and snapped at my hand. Quickly I pulled it back my hand, clenching my other hand a couple of times.

"Giveme, sweetie," I gave him my best sweetest smile. "Can Nana have her shoes back. She has to go to work." I asked still inching forward.

"No!" He hissed in a low creepy voice.

"Giveme, give me the fucking shoe!" I yelled lunging at him. He moved quickly out of the way and I landed in a pile on the floor where he once sat. Getting up I spotted Giveme in the door way of Jeff and mine's bedroom. Quickly I look at the clock on Jeff's side of the bed, 7:39am, it flashed in bright blue numbers.

_Shit, Sara is due in the house with the CEO of Element in 45 minutes._

I turn back to Giveme, still standing in the door way holding my shoes. Looking around desperately I spot a pair of old Airwalks that my brother use to wear. Slowly I picked it up, "Look, Giveme!" I called waving the shoe above my head.

_Airwalks have always been his fave to eat._

"You want the Airwalk?" I asked still waving it. He started following it. His head moving back and forth with it as I waved it around.

"Do you, baby?" He nodded never taking his wide eyes off the shoe. "Yeah, you do." I smiled, "But you have to drop Nana's adios." The adios dropped from his hands and to the floor. "That's a good Shoe-goblin, I mean boy."

_I have to correct myself, he hates being call the Shoe-goblin._

"Okay, come get it." I said holding it out to him.

He came slowly for it at first, but then he came quickly. Faster than him, I threw the shoe into the closet and if trained he dived for it. As he lands on top of the shoe in the closet I shut and lock the closet door. When he had realized what I had done, he started beating and pounding and kicking at the door.

"JUST CHEW ON THE DAMN SHOE!" I yelled.

Silence.

I press my ear to the door and listen for chewing and gnawing. There was nothing. _What is he doing?_ ***BANG*** I jumped back from the door startled, tripping over my feet and almost hitting my head on the foot board of the bed.

"God damn it, Giveme!" I yelled. "If I didn't have to deal with Element today, I'd spank the hell out of you and hide all the shoes!"

The beating and pounding started up again.

"Good fucking thing Jeff laid out clothes for me before we went to bed last night." I mumbled to myself as I stripped out of the clothes I slept in and into the fresh set.

**An Hour Later**

I smiled greeting Sara and the CEO of Element, Johnny Schillereff at the door and let them inside. "Welcome to my house."

"Thank you for having us." Johnny smiled as I led them into the living room.

"How was the drive?" I asked making small talk.

"It was good." Sara replied as she set up for the meeting. "So, Luna where's Jeff today?" She asked.

_Sara was fully aware of Jeff's alters, having met Ruby on one of her last visits._

"Oh, he's okay running errors." I lied.

"Oh, fun. Well, when you see him tell him I said hi." She said sitting on the couch.

"I will." I smiled sitting as well.

The meeting was going pretty well and we were almost down with it. "Well, I'm happy to have you resign with us, Luna. You're a great skater." Johnny said passing me the new contract with Element that he just signed and that I was about to sign, before we were interrupted.

"Luna." A voice whispered.

I looked up and saw my brother, Axel standing a few feet from me. "Not now, Axel. I'm busy." I told him and went back to the contract.

"Luna!" Axel whispered louder.

I sighed angrily, "Do you want to talk with him real quick. The contract can wait a few seconds." Johnny smiled at me tightly.

"Yeah." I replied getting up and grabbing Axel by the shirt. I dragged him away into the kitchen. "What the fuck is it, Axel?" I asked, pissed off.

"I didn't know, dude. You didn't tell me." He blurted out.

"Didn't tell you what?" I snapped.

"I went into your room to get a something out of…" He was cut off by Sara screaming.

My eyes widened, "Ohmygod!" I run in time to see Giveme jump from the couch over the coffee table and to the other couch holding one of Sara's shoes. Sara sat on the first couch holding her hand and this time Jeff yelled. As I turned to look at him, Giveme had wiped out and was peeing on him.

"Giveme, NO!" I yelled rushing forward and pulling Giveme away, him still peeing everywhere. "Axel, take Giveme back upstairs and give him back one of the Airwalks." I ordered pushing Giveme in Axel's direction.

"I don't wanna…"

"DO IT!" I yelled trying to help Johnny clean Giveme's pee off his pants. "I'm so sorry." I apologized over and over.

"Luna, what the hell was that?" Sara yelled pulling off her other shoe to even her height.

"Um," I looked around the floor and spotted her other shoe and gave it to her, "That was, uh, that was Giveme." I told her.

"Giveme?" Johnny repeated unbelieving.

"Yes, Giveme." I nodded. "Jeff is my husband as you know,..."

"I do." Johnny nodded, clearly mad.

"What you don't know about Jeff is that he has a disorder called Dissociative identity disorder, also known as multiple personalities. He has four of them and Giveme is one of them. He's a 5 year old shoe eating, biting and peeing goblin." I explained.

"And what are the other 4?" Johnny asked his arms crossed over his chest.

I gulped, "Ruby is a 1920's house wife. Hardy is an ex special ops member and Nero is a wild and horny teenager." I told him. Johnny popped his lips and squared his jaw.

"Okay. I believe you. So, please sign the contract so we can leave before, Giveme, comes back." He said. I quickly signed the contracted, shook their hands and they left.

Rubbing my face after letting Sara and Johnny out, I marched upstairs to the master bedroom. Bursting through the door I pointed to Giveme who was sitting on the bed gnawing on an Airwalk.

"I want Jeff and I want him now, Giveme." I demanded.

Giveme just stared me, still gnawing on the shoe, like I never said anything. "Give him to me!" I yelled.

Giveme threw the drool soaked shoe at me, hitting me in the chest and making a wet drooly mark on my shirt. That was it, I was boiled over. I had enough of Giveme and his shit. Grabbing the shoe, I threw it at him and kept throwing things at him in a wild, angry haze. Giveme yelled and tried to hide, but was unsuccessful in an escape. In the moment of the fight, Giveme froze. I stopped thinking Jeff was coming back, but it wasn't Jeff that was coming back…..


	5. New Alter: Penguin

**Chapter Four: Penguin**

Ok, the date is still July 28, 2010 and it is 8 in the evening. This is Luna's journal entry on a new alter.

I don't know who this is, where he came from or know anything about him. All I know is that he is clingy and cries a lot.

My POV

I stopped throwing things at Giveme when he froze. I thought it was Jeff transitioning back. But, it wasn't. Whoever it was started sobbing, if it was Jeff, he'd start yelling for me to knock it the hell off. This, whatever, started sobbing and crying for me to stop and they dropped to the carpet sobbing.

_I felt horrible._

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you." I said squatting next to the sobbing mass. The mass flinched and moved away from me.

_Okay, I'll tell you this now. I didn't know that the fuck to do._

I looked around the room uncomfortable. Spotting my cell on the other side of the bed, I got up and grabbed it, dialing Jeff's dad's cell number.

"Um, hey Gilbert, it's Luna." I laughed when Gilbert picked up.

"Hey, Luna. What's up?" Gilbert asked.

"Um, I have a problem with, uh, Jeff." I told him.

"What's wrong with Jeff?" Gilbert asked clearly concerned about his son.

"Well, uh, he transitioned into Giveme, then he transitioned back into I have no idea what." I explained.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean he was Giveme, now he's on the floor bawling his eyes out and talking like a little kid." I told him.

"Oh no," Gilbert breathed.

"Oh no, what, Gilbert?" I asked.

"It's Penguin." He sighed.

"Penguin?" I spit out.

"Yes, Penguin. Penguin is a 3 year old that is a very clingy, cries a lot and is the needy version of Jeff when he was 3. Penguin is very much a three year old." He explained to me. I looked over my shoulder to "Penguin", who was still sobbing.

"What do I do with him?" I asked.

After two hours of Gilbert explaining how to care for Penguin to me, I hung up and went downstairs to the kitchen.

_And thank god my sister in law was there._

"Leah, where are the sippy cups that we use when kids are over?" I asked searching through the cabinets.

"In the cabinets above the fridge, why?" She asked not stopping her task of making dinner.

"I have to give Penguin some juice, so he'll calm down and talk to me." I told her grabbing a red and yellow light up sippy cup from the cabinet above the fridge.

"Gotta give who juice?" Leah asked stopping then.

"Penguin is one of Jeff's old alters from when he was a teen. Apparently he's come back." I told her looking in the fridge for juice. "Do we not have juice!?" I snapped.

Leah reached in the fridge and grabbed the apple juice from the back. "How old is this alter?" She asked pouring the juice into the cup and tightening the lid on.

"Three." I told her holding up three fingers.

"Oh ok." She said, "Why don't you let me take this to Penguin." She suggested.

"Why?" I asked protective.

"Well, you're all worked up, that will scare him and I'm a mom." She said heading upstairs.

I followed Leah upstairs to where Penguin still was. Carefully, she approached Penguin. "Hi, Penguin." She said sweetly.

_Made me sick!_

Penguin looked at Leah with red eyes. "You want some juice?" She asked showing him the sippy cup. Penguin nodded, "Okay." Leah smiled handing him the cup.

Penguin sipped on the cup, sucking all the air out of it with as much juice as possibly before letting it go. Leah smiled at him again and rubbed his back. "You look tired, you want to take a nap?" She asked. Penguin nodded, then pointed to me.

_Ah Fuck._

He whispered something into Leah's ear and she nodded. "I'm sure she wouldn't mind and I'll bring you one. You just go lay down." She said.

Penguin got up and snuggled into bed. Leah came up to me. "He wants to take a nap with you." She whispered to me.

"OK, but what are you bringing him?" I asked. She shook her head and left. I looked at Penguin, who was looking at me and sucking in the sippy cup. "Well, scoot over." I sighed getting into bed.

When I got comfortable, Penguin laid his head on my chest over my heart, still sucking on the cup. Leah came back in and handed him something and left again. The sound of the air going back into the cup made me look down at him.

_You have to be shitting me!_

"A binky, Penguin?" I said looking at the lite blue and lite green binky in his mouth, "Aren't you too old for that?" I asked. He covered the binky with his hand and then turned his face into my chest. "I was just sayin'." I said putting my arms around him.

I finally fell asleep to the sound of Penguin sucking on the binky. I had given up on caring that the sippy cup that sat at my side was dripping and making me and the bed wet. I just said fuck it, held Penguin more protectively and fell my ass to sleep.


End file.
